Ethan Slater’s ex-wife Lilly Jay shares the emotional impact of Wicked

• In a personal essay, Lilly Jay, Ethan Slater’s ex-wife, spoke about her divorce.
• In 2023, it was revealed that Slater was dating his “Wicked” co-star Ariana Grande.
• Jay said the film’s recent premiere reminded her of the saddest time of her life.

Lilly Jay, perinatal psychologist and ex-wife of Wicked star Ethan Slater, has spoken for the first time about their split and how they were thrust into the spotlight.

In July 2023, rumors began circulating that Slater was dating Ariana Grande, his Wicked co-star, leading to Jay and Slater’s split (although a source revealed it to People). that Jay and Slater were already separated when the relationship began).

Jay published an essay in The Cut on Thursday detailing her experiences following the divorce, which became official in September. She wonders if it affected her career after she was passed over for a job and terminated by a client.

Jay and Slater, who met in high school and began dating as sophomores in 2012, welcomed a son in August 2022. After news of Slater and Grande’s relationship broke, Jay told Page Six that Grande was “not a girl’s girl” and that her family was “collateral damage.” Since then, she has held back from revealing many details, including in her most recent essay.

In her new essay, Jay didn’t directly discuss the details of Slater and Grande’s relationship, including the exact timeline. Instead, she described how the very public divorce affected her and the peace she had to make with the fact that her life has become less private since then.

Grande and Slater did not immediately respond to Business Insider’s request for comment.

She moved to the UK for Slater’s career

Since Wicked was filmed in the UK, Jay said she moved to London with Slater when their son was two months old.

She said she knew exactly how vulnerable marriages are in the early stages of parenthood, but was still “confident” about Slater’s career.

“Consumed by the magic and mundanity of new motherhood, I didn’t understand the growing distance between us,” Jay wrote.

She feared postpartum depression and a general loss of control. Then one day in London, “I looked up and realized they had both arrived,” she said, triggered by the “sudden public demise” of her marriage.

The “Wicked” premiere was tough to take

The success of “Wicked,” which premiered in November, makes it hard to pass, Jay said. As is the extensive press surrounding the topic, including a long list of brand collaborations.

Jay said she still struggles with the memories. “The days with my son are sunny,” she said. “Days when I can’t escape the publicity of a film associated with the saddest days of my life are darker.”

Grande has also spoken out about the relationship, referencing Slater in her latest album. “It definitely doesn’t get any easier,” Grande told Vanity Fair in regards to dealing with tabloid rumors. Kristin Chenoweth, who originated Grande’s Wicked role on Broadway and appeared in the film, also defended Grande. “Nobody ever knows what’s really going on,” Chenoweth said.

She said Slater was a present father

Jay and Slater are now caring for their son together, which Slater described as “interesting to manage.”

Jay said they are both fully committed to being there for their child. “While our partnership has changed, our parenting has not,” she said. “We both love our son 100 percent, regardless of how our parenting time is divided.”

Despite her unique challenges in early motherhood, Jay said she is optimistic about the future with her son. “Slowly but surely, I have come to believe that without the life I had planned with my high school sweetheart, there is a life full of sweetness waiting for me and my child,” she said.