Gisèle Pelicot has rewritten her story – and electrified women around the world. But what about men? | Rebecca Solnit

WOmens who are raped are re-violated and abused by the legal system in many countries – perhaps most. And yet, as she reckoned with the crimes of her husband and 50 other men, all now found guilty in a historic series of verdicts, Gisèle Pelicot took control of the narrative and became a heroine in France and around the world.

After discovering that her husband had drugged her and offered her up to strangers online to rape her while she was unconscious, Gisèle left her home, her marriage and the story she had told herself about her life, and spent some time in seclusion.

When she emerged, she made two important decisions that made her a feminist hero. Convicting her rapists and the man who orchestrated them is a kind of justice (even if some of their sentences seem shockingly short), but it all could have taken place in the context of the same old story: the shaming, blaming and victimization of a woman in court . She told that story and wrote her own instead.

One decision was practical: to waive her right to anonymity and go public. Her lawyer, Stéphane Babonneau, said that if she had kept the matter secret, “she wouldn’t be sitting behind the door with anyone but her, us, maybe some family members and 51 defendants and 40 defense lawyers.” And she didn’t want to spend four months with them be locked in the courtroom, her on one side and 90 other people on the opposite benches.”

It was a brave decision that ultimately meant that even with 90 people sitting on the opposite benches, millions who support women’s rights were with her, giving her flowers, cheers and support as she did day after day entered and exited the courtroom; She demonstrated on their behalf, calling on France to confront its rampant misogyny. These actions represent another ruling – one that is perhaps even more meaningful than the court’s.

This huge public response is a result of Gisèle Pelicot’s other moral and psychological decision: to reject shame. Rape victims are often shamed privately and publicly at every stage after the sexual assault – by the rapist, his lawyer, the police, the court system and the media. They are blamed for what happened and told it was their fault; They are blamed for their past sexual activities, their choice of clothing, their decision to go out in the world, for interacting with the rapist – if they actually did it – and for not fighting even if they died threatened, reprimanded. They are regularly discredited when the trauma of the event affects their memory. They are told that they are untrustworthy, vindictive, unreliable or dishonest. Often the shame that is so prevalent in this society is internalized from the start and repeats what rape itself does: disempowers, silences people, traumatizes.

Against this backdrop, Pelicot’s story electrified women around the world. She came and went from the field gracefully, accepting her visibility as lines of supporters formed to cheer her on and bring her flowers. She showed no desire to hide. She explained: “I want these women to say, ‘Ms. Pelicot did it, we can do it too.’ When you get raped, you feel ashamed, and it’s not our job to be ashamed, it’s them.” She meant for the rapists, not for the raped.

Many women refuse to report the crime because they are legitimately afraid of the consequences. This is not a problem of the past. Just on December 9, a woman dropped a federal sexual harassment lawsuit She had filed a lawsuit against former Gov. Andrew Cuomo, who resigned after an investigation found he sexually harassed several women in 2021. Gothamist reported on the former employee: “Charlotte Bennett and her lawyer Debra Katz accused Cuomo of weaponizing the discovery process.” Making “invasive” requests aimed at “humiliating” her, including demanding documentation of gynecologist visits and other medical records.” (Cuomo’s lawyers claim that Bennett recused himself “to avoid being confronted with the mountains of exculpatory discovery… that completely refutes her claims.”

France has long offered refuge to Roman Polański, who fled the United States after pleading guilty to having illegal sex with him He also drugged a 13-year-old. Dominique Strauss-Kahn, managing director of the International Monetary Fund in 2011 and a prominent member of the French Socialist Party, was accused of sexual assault by a New York hotel cleaner in May. He denied the accusations, and much of the press and Strauss-Kahn’s powerful friends did not believe her and brutally discredited her. Her story as a refugee who suffered female genital mutilation was clarified while conspiracy theories exonerating Strauss-Kahn circulated. (The criminal charges were dropped in 2011 because prosecutors cited significant credibility issues with the maid’s statements. The civil suit was settled out of court in 2012.)

France is a country where allegations of male sexual crimes have long been ignored; The defendant apologized or even celebrated by confusing libertinism with liberation. Will that change now? Some, I hope; not enough, I suppose.

Gisèle Pelicot’s heroic boldness in confronting the terrible things that had happened to her – by rejecting shame and standing up for her rights – is admirable. Nor is it an answer available to all survivors. Not every case is so clear and so well documented that the public and the law have no doubt about guilt and innocence, right and wrong. Not everyone will have the excellent lawyers and public support that she does – most will not, and quite a few will receive death threats and harassment for reporting sexual assault, as some of Donald Trump’s accusers have. I don’t know if Gisèle Pelicot hasn’t received threats, but I know that she has received unprecedented support. Despite this support, the rapists’ lawyers have made familiar accusations – that she is vengeful, an exhibitionist for allowing the videos to be shown in court, and insufficiently sad (rape victims are always supposed to walk the fine – or non-existent – line between not move emotionally enough). and too emotional).

What I wrote is what many people have written about this case: Ms. Pelicot was exceptional; French women flocked to support her; Women around the world have followed, discussed and reflected on the case. But are there men? Until men seriously and honestly address the prevalence of sexual assault and the aspects of culture that celebrate and normalize it, not enough will change.

Many of Gisèle Pelicot’s rapists denied that they were rapists, assumed that her husband was justified in giving them permission to attack her while she was unconscious, and all showed that they were desperate to have sex with a drugged woman, wanted to have a non-consenting older woman while she was her husband watching and recording her crimes. Their punishments may instill fear of the consequences of sexual assault, but will they change the desire to do so?

The criminal justice system cannot change culture and consciousness; that happens somewhere else. Feminism has done an amazing job of changing the status of women over the last 60 years, but it is not women’s job to change or fix men. And while many men are feminists, far too many men are caught up in the kind of rape culture on display in this process. One can at least hope that the Gisèle Pelicot case is the reason and impetus for this work, these conversations, this transformation.

May their example give strength to those who seek to change the culture, may the beliefs of their attackers serve as a warning, may their dignity and poise inspire other victims, and, most of all, may there be fewer victims in a better culture.

These are the things I can wish for. Achieving these goals requires the will of many and the transformation of institutions. But Gisèle Pelicot’s example offers inspiration – and hope.

• Rebecca Solnit is a columnist for the Guardian in the US. She is the author of Orwell’s Roses and co-editor of the climate anthology “Not Too Late: Changing the Climate Story from Despair to Possibility” with Thelma Young Lutunatabua

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